shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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