I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
The uberlube is also flammable
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
