The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
