dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
