Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
that may or may not have been my penis.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
