I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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