I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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