If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
