69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
