You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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