i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
