I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
