you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
She swung at the pinata with crutches
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
