I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
