Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
