Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize