physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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