just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
