he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
