he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
