Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
