So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
