Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
