is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Alive.
So much puke
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize