I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
