her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
