apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
