The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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