That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
even my farts smell like vagina
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
