The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
