fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Randomize
