Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
