just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize