I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
