he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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