I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
