He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
