Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
