ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
