Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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