I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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