Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
