He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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