Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
