You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize
