You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
