Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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