remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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