so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Drake has all the answers
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
