you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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