wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize