I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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