pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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