yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
