They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
