so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Randomize
