Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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