How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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