But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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