mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
