BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
