Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
