i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
