She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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