I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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